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Zombie Sleep Hypothesis and Methodology

10/2/2018

Background

My name is Professor K. L. Southwick and I am a Zombieologist at the University of Helsinki in Finland. I have dedicated my life to the study of zombies, their habits, and place in pop culture and folklore.

 

1.1.1      Problem Statement

While zombies are often portrayed as undead, flesh-eating corpses, they actually have a robust social life and are extremely environmentally conscious. Zombies often eat flesh for the purpose of recycling and never carelessly discard aluminum cans. While movies such as Night of the Living Dead and World War Z show zombies as manic and dangerous, most are actually incredibly affectionate – as portrayed in Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island where they just want to chase you down to hug you and eat your pet.

 

1.1.2      Research Objective

The most interesting thing about zombies is their sleeping habits. My research has shown that while zombies only sleep a couple of hours a night, their sleeping surface is crucial. Zombies that sleep on soft, foam-like surfaces lose noses and appendages almost 65% faster than those that sleep on resilient surfaces. Zombies that sleep on innersprings stagger faster and leap on their victims with much more enthusiasm and vitality.

 

1.2       Scope of Study

We have barely scratched the surface. More research is needed to truly understand this phenomenon.

 

If you would like to support my work, you can do so by donating to the Save the Zombie Foundation. Thank you in advance.

#ZombiesWerePeopleToo

#DontEatMyArmBro

 

See related articles: innersprings, zombie

Ken Southwick

Ken Southwick is a Senior Graphic Designer for Leggett & Platt Creative Services.